In Kinship - A podcast for makers
who crave a vibrant life on their own terms

Show Notes

Episode #20 - getting water to boil

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Today’s episode is about turning on the heat and holding it steady.    I once heard Cathy Heller use this water boiling analogy for showing up in life and it stuck with me.   So I share it with you today.

Showing up in life,   relates to a new program I have coming out and a free 5 day workshop – Finding Your Joy that that is live August 7th.    

Join us!

I believe, a joyfilled life is your birthright.  And living vibrantly is within our reach.   And if we can do it together!!!  All the better.  

As the wise African proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this water boiling analogy and have you join us next week!




Mentioned on the podcast

Cathy Heller’s Podcast

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks


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On today’s podcast. I’m going to share with you some thoughts I had about. Striving for success, striving for joy, striving for anything in your life. Anything that you want to bring into your life. And the kind of elements that I think are important to that. And I’m also going to share with you. This is a great analogy. 

That I learned while listening to the Cathy Heller podcast, I think it’s called manifests. Now. She just renamed it. Anyway, I’ll put that in the show notes. Share with you that analogy and talk to you about how that relates to some new things I have coming up. One of which is a free workshop next week. It’s five days long. 

You’re going to get a short, sweet little email. Every day in your inbox with an audio and a question or two for you to ponder nothing great. Big nothing. That’s going to take up your time. Just something to add a little mindfulness to your day and help you discover by the end of the week. What it is. 

Exactly that brings you joy. Because how can we add in more joy to our life? If we don’t know exactly what that is, and of course Georgia can just happen to us. Right. Obviously. 

Joey can just occur when we are at least expecting it. It does all the time, but I think there are some things. And can bring us ease and peace, enjoy it that we can put into our lives. To help give us a base level of joy and vibrancy. All right. And jump on the website, kinship, And Ray on the homepage, you’ll see a link to. Find your joy. That’s the workshop that’s going to begin August 7th. I would love for you to join me. 

You are listening to the in kinship podcast, a podcast for makers, makers who crave a joy filled vibrant life on their own terms. And I am your host, Tina Vanderburg. Let’s get . started. Hey there. On today’s podcast. I’m going to talk a little bit about something that’s been on my mind. I know, I’d probably say that on every single solo podcast, but you know, there in us. Today I was driving for three hours from downstate back home. I’ve been down there helping out some family. And I had an opportunity to listen to one of my favorite podcasts, which is the Cathy Heller podcast. 

I’ll put that in the show notes. If you are unfamiliar with her. And she was talking a lot about. Um, well, several things, but one of the things that really hit home for me was the idea that, um, 

When we are seeking out something in life. And I think to some degree we all are right. And if we’re in Some sort of state of. 

Apathy or just floating. I think. Deep down, we are striving for something. We just have some blocks to figuring out what that is. Um, and I think that as you know, that joy and vibrancy. Our birthrights and that I believe. The ability to feel those things in any circumstance is available to all of us. 

Not easily, not simply. Actually, I think some of the actions to get us there could be simple if we would allow it to be. I think that we don’t allow it to be though, because we get so used to our homeostasis, we get so used to a state of stress. We get so used to a state. That we grew up in, I’ve been listening and reading a lot of different things to talk about how we have a set. 

Kind of a ceiling. Um, excellence, if you will, or a ceiling for how we can feel. And that was first introduced to me and. Gay Hendricks book, the big leap, which is a great book.

And I’ve heard it in other places too, or this idea that we. 

Have a set point. You know, we have something that feels like home to us, whether that’s a positive thing or not. And we will sort of sabotage ourselves to get back to that feeling of home. And I think it’s only through introspection and deep internal work or just internal work, rather that we can get through that and reset that temperature. Right. Reset that gauge so that we have the capacity. 

For something larger. Yeah, the capacity. From our joy, we have the capacity from our vibrancy. So. VAX the podcast that I mentioned that I listened to him. She was talking about capacity. And she was making the argument for. The idea that our joy is in exploring our capacity and getting to our capacity. 

For success for. Um, creativity for life in general for. All the things right. Like finding ways to continually expand our ability to receive and our ability to give. All at the same time. And so one of the concepts that she talked about. I am finally getting there. I swear. It was the idea that. We both have to work hard for it. 

And also. 

Be in an energy where we have let go of. The result. And are committed to finding joy in the process. And I know that it sounds like great conversation, right? It sounds like, yeah, that sounds fantastic. Now how on earth does one do that? Right. And I want to stay too. Like, I don’t believe that when she says, or my belief around it. 

When she says you have to work hard to get what you want. I don’t think that means a hundred, a hundred hours a week. Or. Fingers to the bone or don’t take any vacations and don’t take care of yourself when you’re second. Like that means that at all. But I do think that in our current. 

Um, Temperature. So current state of mind that. If we’re believing in the idea of , manifesting something and the idea that that can be easy, then we sort of think that that means we don’t have to do anything in order to receive it right. And I don’t know that we have to do anything as far as we don’t need to deserve it. We don’t have to. 

Um, be worthy of it. We don’t have to work our fingers to the bone, like I said, but we have to show up every single day. And we have to put our energy into it and our intention into it. And that’s what I think she means when she says you need to work for what you want. Right. And it’s kind of like what we talked about a few months back when we talked about apathy and control. 

Is this idea that we can both let go of perfectionism. And strive for excellence. And I think that we can both. Make a conscious choice to have a joy filled daily life. And still work hard for what we went. And again, that doesn’t mean. Uh, working hard does not mean that you never go on vacation that is not what I mean by that. What I mean by is by. Showing up day in and day out. And so one of the things she also mentioned that I want to share with you, which I think is really fun and I love this analogy. 

If you didn’t know that water takes about 10 minutes to boil, depending on where you are. And you put a pot of water on the. Stove. And you turned on the heat. And you came back after two minutes. And you thought this isn’t working. The water’s not boiling. It’s not working. You can turn off the water. 

Then he thought about it for a little bit and you came back and you turn on the heat again and you tried it again and you waited three minutes this time and nothing happens. And then send your like, water does not boil. It’s not gonna boil. I’m not gonna boil for me. Maybe it boils for somebody else, but it won’t for me. Right. 

Whereas, if you put the heat on the water, And kept the heat at a constant pace. And let the heat bring the water to a boil. It would happen and it would happen quickly, much more quickly than it will happen. If you turn it on, turn it off, turn it on, turn it off, turn it on. Turn it off. You may never get it to boil. If you turn it on and turn it off often enough and eventually you’ll lose faith and you may not even try it again. 

Right. And so the idea, and I love this ideology, the idea is that we have to show up with our energy. And with our effort. All the time and having faith that it’s going to work out in the end. Because you’ll be rewarded in the end by that. And there’s so many people that have this as. Part of their experience that we can borrow the confidence from them that the eight indeed that will happen. 

So, if you were to turn on the heat, Leave it on. You’re going to hear. Any water in the quickest amount of time. And I love that thought. So I think about that in terms of my business. And I think about that in terms of joy, right? So like, I believe it, that we all have the capacity. 

As I mentioned to have vibrancy and joy in your life. Regardless of our circumstances. And that doesn’t mean that life isn’t hard. And that doesn’t mean that we don’t have moments of great sadness and greatest, horrible. That doesn’t mean any of that. But what I do believe that we have the ability to determine how we react to what’s happening in front of us. 

And we have the ability to set up our lives with as much success as possible. And so. I think of that heat. When I think about. Bringing in the things every day that, you know, bring you joy. And also believing one that you deserve to have joy and vibrancy in your life. And I think that’s a big, um, 

A whole nother podcast. I mean, like an entire podcast, not like an episode. And learning how we deserve to have joy. And we deserve to have vibrancy. And. 

Taking the time to find out what it is that does bring you joy. On the day to day. I’m not talking about like a trip to Disney world with that true thing, right? Like, that’s going to bring you like, just a lot of happiness probably in the moment. But maybe not. You may get to Disney world after having bumped been so excited to get there and. 

All of the things that are stressing you out back at home are going to pile on when you get to Disney world. Unfortunately, because as the old saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. So I think that. Happiness is one thing. Enjoy something entirely different. Joy is knowing the things that set you up. 

Too. Have a more ease filled life is I think of joy in my life. I think of it as feeling at ease, being peaceful, feeling content. Those things really speak to joy for me and the, you may have something different. The speaks. Joy for you. 

But I think that when we take the time to figure out what it is on a daily basis, and for me, it’s things like meditating. At least once a day, I’m trying to start a twice a day practice. And I think that’s going to be really pivotal, but I’m struggling to get that second time in. Um, Just as a side note. 

But. Meditating every morning. If I meditate in the morning before I start my day, 10 minutes, even. It does not have to be long. It can be really simple. I almost always had a much more ease filled and I was considered a joy filled day than I do when I don’t. If I go for a walk every day. I also set myself up to have a really beautiful day. 

If I schedule a time to meet with a really good friend where I get to listen to live music, or maybe go for a walk or go for a boat ride or. 

Make something together, any of the things that I love to do, and I do it with a friend, like it’s just this amazing twofer. It’s actually like more like a firefighter because it just like amplifies the joy so completely when I get to do it with a really good friend, And so knowing that means that I. 

Have the ability. To put those things into my life as often as possible. And the only way they’re going to happen is if I show up with the energy to make them happen. If I put the heat on the water. To make my joy happen is the only way that’s going to go, right? No, one’s going to hand it to me. No, one’s going to say, you know what? You look stressed. Maybe you should meditate otherwise. 

My little boy might say that to me. Just for self preservation. You know how that goes. 

So I love that analogy. And I wanted to share that with you today. And it’s these kinds of ideas that we’re going to talk about. Next week. I am doing a free five day workshop. Called find your joy workshop. And so for five days, you’re going to get audio in your inbox, along with a question or two for you to ponder over the day. This is not a great big deal. 

This is something you can easily fit into your day and give your morning a little mindfulness. Give yourself a little intentionality before you start your day. And then at the end of the week, I’m going to talk about the new program that I’ve got. We’re about to launch. So I mentioned that I really want to do two meditations every day, 15 minutes. My goodness. Surely I can find. 

A half an hour, total, every day to meditate. Right. Especially when I know how much. 

Power meditation has to alleviate stress and to bring you into a sense of ease, which is what I really truly want. And what I strive for in life. And definitely as somebody who’s been suffering or working with, let’s call it working with. An auto immune thing this last year. On the. Back end of an incredibly stressful time. 

I understand even more deeply than I used to how damaging stress is to our bodies. Physically. And not even to mention mentally. Um, And so I want to do what I can because I have autonomy and I have the power to do that. Um, so I want to do that with somebody else. I know how powerful it is to commit to say walking with a friend. Right. I know that you’re going to walk probably twice, as far as you went by yourself. 

And so I’m putting together a group. And I’m going to talk about at the end of the workshop. Next week, the workshop’s great. But I want to put together a group where we will have some lessons, but mostly if we’re going to have some planning and I. 

Countability and ability to have other people be part of your team. And to commit to one another so that we can bring in more joy, because I know that you’ve been listening to different things, even reading different things, you have all this different knowledge and you’re probably ready to just put it all into practice for goodness sakes and enough learning. 

Per se, although he has a lot to learn, but there’s going to be some of that too. And more implementing more and finding your joy. So next week we start out by just talking about and figuring out what it does. It brings you joy in the first place. Like how do you know what it is you want to put more of in your life? 

Is that we’re going to do that as a free workshop. You have no obligation beyond that, but I am going to talk about the program that I’m going to start this fall after that. And I’m so excited to start it because I think that we are going to elevate one another. And becomes so much greater together than we could on our own. 

All right. That’s the end of the day, this podcast . I am so glad that you’re here. I hope that you enjoyed it. And I want you to jump on the website. If you will. Kinship And right on the homepage, you’re going to see the, find your joy link. You can click right on there and go right in and sign up for that next week. And you’re going to get five emails. 

They’re going to be short and sweet. Just a little bit of love. A little bit of thought every day. Okay. 

Have the best day. 

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