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Hey there you are listening to the in kinship podcast, a podcast for makers, makers who crave a joy-filled vibrant, lit up life on their own terms. And I’m your host, Tina Vandenberg. Thanks for being here. 

Welcome to, uh, my solo episode. This episode has been recorded in September of 2024. And I am struck with September energy. I bet. You know what I mean? By that, like that back to school. Reconnecting to our routines. Second new year of the year. Kind of energy. I always think of September as a time to like brush myself off after an exciting summer. Um, And that can be exciting in so many ways, right? 

Like I know that for me, summer is always full of like, I want to get all these projects done. I also want to try to get it to the beach as much as I can. I want to have all the adventures on a dwell, the campaign. I want to go all the places and my rhythm and routine. Get a little hijacked. I’ll bet you it’s the same for you. 

It’s a little bit feral. If you will, and Spall feels like. Coming back into rhythm, coming back into routine. And, uh, Dustin off and it is something that I highly enjoy. Plus I love fall. Like I am not a hot weather girl. I know some of you are going to be appalled to hear that. Although, if you know me, you know that that’s true. Already. I’m not a hot weather girl. 

So summer while I adore it for so many reasons, isn’t my favorite temperature. I really love the fall and I love winter and I love spring, you know, where I’m really an equal opportunities. He’s a lover, but. I would rather be cold and layered up. And really cute. Then hot and unable to take off my skin. He goes I’m down to that. So that’s a side note. Let’s go back to September. Early September expecially. 

I get this craving to like reassess my life and see what’s happening and really look at my schedules and figure out what’s going to work for me. And what’s not. And. While I’m a little bit out of that now here. Uh, you know, the second. Half of September. 

I wanted to share with you my process. I wanted to share with you a new workbook that I put out. It’s very similar but updated. Uh, you know, it’s not that similar. I mean, there’s got some similar aspects, but I’ve really updated it and added a lot of my personal. Hm. Rituals, I guess, into it. 

You are wondering right now, I’m sure. 

Like, could she maybe say what this thing is that she’s already done that now she’s updated. 

Does it happen to your tail? Anyway, I digress. So I have updated the vibrant, your workbook that I put out a year and a half ago, almost two years ago now. And I obviously did it to be timeless, first of all. And I updated it to be something that it doesn’t have to be at the new year if you know, and follow me, you know, that like, I love assessing the new year, like mid January. 

I only to jump on it right on January 1st. I’m not ready for that yet. I’m still on that fallow time. That is. The time after the holidays, I’m getting back into my rhythm and it takes a couple of weeks to be ready. To sort of look ahead and reflect back. And move on to that. So. 

This is timeless. There’s no timing. Based on it. And you could do it after a season, like say after summer, right? So I led this group the other day, which was so delightful and they gave me some feedback on the workbook, which I absolutely adored. And let me just say this real quick. If you are trying to do something creative that you want to put out into the world, there’s so much value in finding a group of like-minded humans, humans, whose opinion you value. And who have similar goals to yours? To help you work through the details of it. 

Cause sometimes. When you work by yourself, it can be very insular. And it can be hard to know if your ideas are just. Out there. Or if they’re valuable, right. And it can be easy to run along in one particular path. So a mastermind or a group of people who are like minded, who can help and support one another is so valuable. 

Like we need community. And so many ways, and there are several communities that I. Want to foster again in my life after having had a really. Termite chilis. I don’t know that I’ve said that word. Right. But there you go. Uh, several years, as you know, I divorced and I had an auto-immune thing and I just kind of fell off the face of the earth. 

It felt like, but. I am finding my funding. And I’d like to re engage with certain groups in my life. And for me, that would be. Having time. With a woman’s circle, a spiritual woman’s circle is important to me. So whatever your spirituality is, I think it’s so important to gather in community. Whether that’s a church or that’s a gathering around the campfire on the full moon. 

What are there might be. So I want to re-engage with that. I also. I am thoroughly enjoying having this group of like-minded women. And this has just began for me last spring. And it’s been a beautiful thing. And I also used to do something called maker swaps, where I would get together with makers and we would bring our handmade goods. And put them all out on display. And there were, there were rules to the, to the gathering, like how many items you could bring in all of these things. And then we would do a lottery to decide who got to come up and pick the first item. 

And we would go through that until all the items are gone. And we also had a potluck of course, because, you know, Who doesn’t want to potluck. It was so much fun and being somewhat. Unrooted for several years now, three of them even, I haven’t done one in a long time. And so I look forward to maybe next spring, reinstating that tail. So there are certain things that I know helped to help me feel. Grounded to help me grow. And to assess what my thoughts are and decide is that really what I want? 

Is it not. Because I think that’s the value of community is it helps to, um, See where your rubbish is like, where you’re bouncing up against somebody. And you’re not sure that that’s. Them or you, when you get the opportunity then to inspect that and see. Where are your boundaries? Where are they not? Are you where you want to be in life. 

Like there’s just so much assessing that can happen and, and support, obviously that can happen in community. And wisdom that you would get from somebody that maybe you wouldn’t have an opportunity to. Be part of another bites. 

Anyway, digressing is definitely a part of my emo. So I had a group and I taught this workbook to that group and it was such a beautiful experience. And I’m so grateful for that. But it allowed me to fine tune a little bit more, even what it is I’m offering. And I want to do some kind of a virtual workshop on it. So look for that coming up. Maybe I’ll wait until January. 

I’m not sure. Um, well, we’ll come together for three hours and have a ceremony around it, make it a ritual and go through my workbook, which you can get right now. If you want to, if you want to do it on your own, you can certainly get it. It’s on the website. Kinship, handwork.com. So. Going through that work booking and updating it and creating it. Reminded me of all of the practices that I love to do. When I am switching from one season to the other or from one calendar to the next. Or. 

Anytime that you are ready to like, whew. 

Just kind of like reset your energy. And what I love about it. 

Is there so much power and looking back over the time that you’ve just gone through. And highlighting like the overall feeling that was there. Highlighting what you learned, maybe highlighting, who helped you or what helped you in that time period? And then I like to also list out the things and events that I did that are meaningful to me or hard, or, you know, somehow they have stuck out in my mind. Because it allows me to look back and say, you know what, January. Or July, whatever it is. That was really way too busy for me. 

Like no wonder. I felt so. Uh, scattered or whatever that feeling that you had was like, it allows you to sort of connect the dots. And try to plan for the next time, right? Try to put boundaries around. All right. I’m only going to do. Five camping trips in the summer. Not 10. 

Or whatever your boundary might be. And I should say too, like, Those boundaries. They’re going to change from season to season and from year to year, like. When I have a little child. My boundaries have to be tighter around what I do because I’m already in a state of feeling. Um, too busy sometimes. Right. 

And I want to slow those things down. When I, I. I would imagine. And certainly before I had a child, My time was different and how I spend it was different. And my tolerance for. Travel and activity was different as well. And so like, Part of the work, something like this kind of a workbook is being able to assess. What is feeling good to you right now and make changes on a. Seasonal basis. So then once you’ve reflected, then you start to dream about the future. 

And this is one of my favorite parts. Like I adore. Envisioning. What my future Tina might look like. And sometimes I just envision like a day in my life, six months from now or a year from now, I don’t generally go out much further than that. But typically I will pay as much detail in that picture as I can. And it’s not to say that I want to have that purple plate. That’s in that vision, but it is to say the, after I’ve completed the vision and I’ve journaled on it and often I’ll do. A little writing exercise beside that as well. Which is in the workbook. And then I will consider, um, how did I feel in that future? Moment. And that’s what I’m striving for, because I understand that there are probably a million ways for me to get to that feeling. 

And yes, I had a vision that was really detailed. Like I had this in my hand and this was happening and I lived in this house. And I think it’s important to have those to give you, um, 

To give you something to hang on to as far as, while the visioning is happening. But once you connect to the feeling that you want to feel, I think it’s important to let go of all the details. And trust. I trust that you understand where you want to feel, how you want to feel in the future. And now you’re going to make small choices on a day-to-day basis to help you to feel that way. And it will be amazing to see what that looks like. In six months or a year when you have vision that out, like it may look. Physically very different, but we’re shooting for that same feeling.

So I absolutely adore that. 

And so then part of the workbook then continues on like, okay, you have these feelings that you want to feel. You have maybe this overarching word for the next bit of time that you want to feel. And I love choosing the word for that time because it helps me to sort of vet. My decision. So if I like this year in particular, 2024, My word for the year was grounding or rooting, which makes a little sense, right? 

Because I have this new place. I’m settling my life back in. I’m sort of beginning again. Uh, completely beginning again, actually. Um, And so. When I thought about. All the things I wanted to do. Right. So I’m like hearing about people going on these great trips and going all over the place. And I’m like, oh, I want to do that too, because I can very much be like, Ooh, that sounds fun. Kind of a human. But then I kept coming back to my word. 

I’m like, Tina, your word for this year was to feel grounded and rooted where I was. And I knew that what I really wanted to feel for this year, when I look back. Is that I had made my space, my home. And so I’ve added that word against a lot of the opportunities that came up. And so then it’s interesting when I taught this class. Um, a couple of weeks ago, one week ago, something like that. I guess it was last week. 

Time is so bizarre. And when I reflected, as I taught the class, I just wrote a couple of little notes that came to mind as I was teaching. And everyone was writing. I realized that I actually was still in more motion this summer. Then I wanted to ultimately be because like in September I haven’t been in motion and I started to really button up some house projects I had, I started to really focus on this tiny little garden I have, which I call squash mountain. I have not really planted a garden this year. If you’ve been following, you know, that I did do two apple trees and a peach tree, which the deer have demolished completely. 

One of the apple trees. That’s super fun. And I also have planted Berry bushes. Uh, raspberries and strawberries. And the deer have also pretty much demolished the strawberries. So. Obviously my next focus next year needs to be on protection. Maybe that’s going to be my word for 2025. 

I’m not sure. Something. I love the deer. And it’s sort of fun to see them in the yard, but not anymore. Like they all my green beans as well. And I had to, like, I just had a pot of green beans cause I don’t have a true garden yet. Talk talk next to the house, like right under the window. And somehow they demolished. 

I’m like modem right down, like. Right when they were ripe. Of course, you know, anyway, I digress. I got so over by my B’s cause you know that I keep bees. I had this bag, compost pile. From the previous owners of the property. I guess where they put all their brush and they put all their soil and all their stuff. Um, cause the property that I bought was completely raw. 

I had never had a home on it before, so, um, 

I decided just to throw some squash seeds on it and see what would happen. And it went like gangbusters. Like this is squash mountain. There are so many butternut squash. I’m so excited. My little boy and I adore butternut squash soup. In fact, I just made a butternut squash soup. Um, with a friend of mine and Hey, put. 

First of all the butternut squash soup is so simple and. The squash was so fresh and ripe. It was amazing. And then the leftovers the next day. He put. Some sausage N and some sauteed mushrooms. And it was like, My favorite soup I’ve ever had in my life. It was so delicious. 

So that squashed mountain. 

 I’ve spent more time in September now sort of rooting into the place. And I realized that while I somewhat hit the market the summer, I also somewhat missed it. Like I really was in motion more than I want to be. And you guys know also that I have alien parents. I’m often traveling to pick them up or to go and see them. 

And they both live. Two and four mile, excuse me, two and four hours respectively away from me. So that takes a lot of time. Not that I would change. Or, uh, get the alternative for that. I would rather spend that time right now than not. Have that option. So. 

I realized though that I’ve not spent enough time at home. And so reflecting gives you the opportunity to continually make small changes and can really reconnect to what it is I really want in my life and what it is that I have to say no to. Because we can’t live our lives.

Running full tilt towards everything. 

I mean, we can. But you may never get the failings that you’re hoping for. You may never get the grounded-ness or the feelings that you’re hoping will. B. In the future. I want you to have a little bit of an intention to it. That doesn’t mean we’re dogmatic. Cause you know, I am the first person to it. Bulk. At anyone telling me how I have to live my life or what I have to do myself included. So I try to keep it loose. 

This is why I’m looking for this feeling. I’m not looking to say, okay, you’re not allowed to do this, this, and this. It’s more like, One, an opportunity comes my way. Does it fit the kind of feeling I want at the moment? And is that okay? Right. You get to make those choices any at any given time. So back to the vibrant life. So you go through and you decide, like, what are your, what are your boundaries for the next bit of time? What is it that you want to try to achieve as far as space in your life and ease and all of those things. Or excitement and adventure, whatever that might be and trying to put those into place. Right at the beginning. 

So if I know, like I told you earlier that I want more gatherings in my life, I want more. Ceremony. I want more. Community. Then I need to find. And place those things into my calendar now, because I know that. If I don’t life is just going to continue to trucking along. And when I’m now at my breaking point and I really need community and I want to be. With other like-minded souls. 

It’s going to be harder to make that happen on the fly. Nothing is impossible because it’s not, this is just an opportunity to help set yourself up for success. That doesn’t mean that things can’t happen organically as it comes either. Because it does. But also organically. We tend to fill up our lives. Until there’s nothing left. Of what we really want in it. 

And so part of this vibrant life workbook is helping to determine what is it you really want? Without it being too complicated. And how can we simplify it? And focus for the next bit of time on what it is. It’s really important to you. 

And then I just send that color, joy list. No, that I love to.

So sort of like I was talking to a minute ago with a gatherings, like that would be on my joy list. Right. I know that I want to meet with people. I don’t want to meet every week. I don’t have time for that. That would feel stressful to me every week. But if I’m at once a month, that would feel pretty good. If I had one gathering. A month. 

And so you guys heard, I had like three different kinds of gatherings I wanted to have. So now I’m talking like, Each of those gatherings would be like an every other month kind of thing or something in that realm. Right. I know what’s going to feel good to me. And what’s going to feel stressful in this particular season of my life. And so I write those down as a list. 

I also know that I love one-on-one time with my closest friends. And I want that to be. Probably every week, if not every two weeks, depending on how busy I am, but I don’t want to put aside, having time with friends, which is so valuable to me. 

For the busy-ness of my week, either. Because I won’t feel. How I want to feel in the end and won’t be the experience I want it to be. When I’m done with that. 

And so. 

I’ll write that down. All right. Then I want to meet with a friend once a week and I also want to walk and I want to get out in nature. So if I can do both of those things at one time, that’s perfect. Right. It’s a little twofer, which is super fun. If I can meet at the beach with a friend while we still have good beach weather, that’s a beautiful thing as well. 

I get to experience the waves and nature, and I get to also be with a friend. So think about the ways that would make you feel. More. At home with yourself. And try to incorporate those into your life. And that’s really what this write books about is like getting to know yourself, reflecting on the past dreaming of the future. And then putting in small steps. Simple steps. 

We’re not over complicating. This. Simple steps every day to kind of bring it back to what it is as important to you because. I don’t know who said I offhand, but how you spend your minutes, just how you spend your life. And I, for one. What my life to be full of all the beautiful things I want. And so. I’m going to try and incorporate that in any way that I can. And I’m going to reassess my rhythm. He goes, can you guys hear that bird out there? 

This bird is like either a disagreeing with me or it’s like, yeah, you tell it. Or it’s mad that my cats, uh, hanging out in the yard and that could be it too. 

So. 

I want to be able to. Have that control that I know that I can have. And let’s be honest. That does not mean that like every plan I put into my plan into my calendar. Works out. I bet you not even half of them do. But half of them do right. So like if I hadn’t put them in my calendar at all, none of it would have happened. 

And so I think it’s important to one, give yourself grace to shift and flow as need be, but also put it out there and commit yourself. To the things that are important to you. So you guys know that I’m wearing a routine is important to me. I find that if I don’t do those movements, I’ve been doing lately in the stretching. I have a lot more pain. 

And so just incorporating them. I did not feel like doing it this morning. Not one little bit. I was tired. I was aching and I did it and it took almost until three quarters of the way through this 20 minute practice. I do. To be like, oh, this was worth it up until those two, like 15 minutes. And I’m like, this is such a, why am I doing this today? 

I don’t want to do this. And then woo. It shifted everything. And so. That’s what this is about. And also like, Yay. Timber, how fun is this? You know, it was crazy too. Is that. My little piece of property has a ton of deciduous trees. So there’s Maples Oaks and also a lot of evergreens, but there’s a whole little Grove of Maples as you first drive in. And they just, all of a sudden out of the blue turned red and yellow. Not fully, they’re not fully there yet, but they’re getting there. 

And I was like, when did that happen? It’s amazing. Because it’s also been like, 87 degrees here, which is unheard of really. 

Oh, not unheard of, but unlikely in Northern Michigan and mid to late September. 

And honestly, I’m ready for my sweaters. Okay. So like, That would be all right with me. If we got back down to sixties, at least. 

You know what else I’m working on? It’s so much fun to work on a project, right? So my little boy turns nine next. Next Saturday, and I’m working on a party for him, which he’s finally allowed. Um, Me to do sort of the nature. Birthday party that I’ve been dreaming of. So I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself. And he’s giving me full reign, which is amazing. 

Um, To do a different major. Activities. I think there’s going to be a craft when they first arrive there and then we’re going to do like a treasure hunt or a scavenger hunt and some kind of a. Racing kind of game and there’s a pinata and all that stuff. So that’s really exciting. I also have been planning my retreat for October. 

If you know that I do a so immature. Mackinac island in October. And we’ve had a couple of calls with the people that are coming to their tree, and I’m so excited. This one’s going to be so creative. And so deep. We are going to draft bodice patterns and then take those patterns. And. Practice new techniques on those Petters specifically looking at texture. 

So think pin talking and smocking and all different things like that. I’m really excited for how this is going to go. And the creativity that will be in there. 

Not to mention the group that’s coming. They’re so much fun. And then I also have the, with these. Uh, workshops going on right now and that’s been so much fun. It’s so fun to see. Everyone take their original fit and flare dresses, what they started with and fed it to their bodies and then start to change into three different designs. And so we’re currently on the first design that gathered next sleeve, last dress. That I absolutely adore. 

I probably have four of them in my closet, which if you see my closet, you know, that’s a lot of real estate in my closet for one style address. But it makes me feel. How I want to feel right. Going back to those feelings, like what’s, that’s really, what’s important. And when people talk about changing your vibrancy, Changing your vibration or changing the channel on your energy to be at the channel that you want to be. 

It’s about putting small steps into your life. So that you feel how you want to feel. And so clothing, as you know, has a ton of power. To help you to feel how you want to feel or to detract from how you want to feel, depending on what you’re wearing. So, you know that for me, Wearing clothes. It made me feel lit up. Is vitally important. If I’m wearing something from B. It’s ultimately going to bring my mood down to a kind of a frumpy sort of mood. And that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes wear things that are really cozy. 

Cause I feel like I want to feel cozy. Right. That’s the right moment for that. But ultimately this particular dress back to the dress. Makes me feel powerful. It’s going to side slit that comes up the leg. When I walk around in sandals or boots. I just, it sort of flutters behind me and I. Dramatic sort of way. And it feels sensual and it feels powerful and not powerful. 

And like, I’m going to take over the world kind of powerful, but powerful and like, I am a human who’s comfortable on my skin. That’s how it feels. And I love it. So everyone’s working on that dress right now, which is super exciting. And then we move on to a princess, same dress with these. Amazing pockets. And I’m, I’m excited for that too. What are you excited about? 

What are you working on over there? 

I would love to hear. You can always reach me@kinshiphandworkatgmail.com. If you want to reach out. 

Thanks for listening. I know it was a bit rambling. If you want the workbook that I talk about, you can get that on the website. Go to kinship, handwork.com. And click on podcasts. It’s right there on the right-hand side of the screen. When you do that. And you can sign up and get the workbook. I also include several podcast episodes that are very related to it. And I think I’m going to do a live workshop related. Around it, like creating a ceremony, actually filling it out together and having that gathering. 

But virtual. Maybe it’ll be this fall, but certainly in January. Um, If you’re hankering for it this fall, let me know. All right. Darwin’s. If you liked this podcast episode, please share it with a friend. You can subscribe to the podcast on any app that you use. I am so grateful. 

You’re here. Have just the best day.