(want the transcripts? scroll to the bottom of the page)
(w/ Megan Frey)
“And a lot of that really, for me, right now in my life means creating more space for myself. However that looks, whatever feels good for Megan to do, or not to do, even more so, even more importantly, actually, is to do less.
It’s really being honest and checking in with yourself every day. Not just because one day you make this decision and then you, yep, this is the one, and then you just write it out.
That, to me, doesn’t feel authentic either to who I am.
You have to put effort into yourself every day. You can’t just check the box, sign the subscription, or membership, pay for it, and it’s over. This one isn’t signing up for that subscription.”
# 27 – Megan Frey
Tina: Hey there you have stumbled upon the in kinship podcast. And today I have the distinct pleasure as always. It’s always such a pleasure to talk to these amazing people out in the world. Because, gosh, we all have something amazing to share on’t we. Well today, I’m talking with Megan Frye.
Megan. And I worked together at a natural food co-op maybe 10 or 12 years ago.
I remember distinctly the day that Megan walked in for an interview at the food co-op she was one of those people I resonated with immediately. I know, you know what I’m talking about when somebody walks through the door and you think. We’re going to be friends. That’s exactly what I felt.
She had just arrived to the states after having lived on the island of egg in Scotland. She had this gorgeous Scottish accent and she waltzed in and , my heart Petter pattered and I knew that I wanted to be friends with her. And thankfully. That was the beginning of our friendship..
I have been really excited to talk to her on this podcast because she’s one of those people who has this natural. Trust that the universe or God, whatever you want to call it. Has her back. . She jumps off onto a venture without a concern about whether. She’s got the next leg lined up, whether she knows where she’s going to end up going or how she’s going to get there. She just begins.
Without further ado. Let’s check in with my friend, Megan, who now finds herself residing. for a Short time. On the magical island of Maui.
You are listening to the in kinship podcast, a podcast for makers, makers who crave a vibrant. Lit up life on their own terms.
And I am your host, Tina Vandenberg. Let’s get on with the show.
Megan, welcome to the podcast.
Megan: Thank you for having me, Tina. I’m thrilled to be here. I’m hoping the coffee will kick in soon.
Tina: Where are you talking to us from right this minute?
Megan: I am currently on the north shore of Maui, on the windward side, how I like it. And, um, I’m in my, my home, uh, on top of a cliff. It sits about 450 feet high. And I’m looking at the ocean in a rainforest jungle.
Tina: I don’t.
Megan: it’s amazing.
Tina: Tell us why it’s significant that you are on your, you are in your home on land.
Megan: Yeah, right. Uh, it’s significant to… Me, because for the majority of the last 12 years, I have spent most of my time at sea on the ocean. So, to have a stationary place to be sitting and moving around… Uh, connected to earth feels a bit, uh, foreign, but I can see the ocean and, um, and I watch the movements and I feel very connected to the water out there.
So, uh, yeah, that, that is a significant part of this. This journey.
Tina: Nice. Nice. So you said that you preferred on the windward side.
The windward side. Um, well for many reasons, so, uh, I think the ocean found me, um, about 12 years ago or whatever that is. In 2009 or maybe before that when I was living in Norway, but on an island and, um, the windward side, Any body of water is usually, or is, the most dominant side.
It’s where the winds are the strongest and you feel the elements. As opposed to the leeward side. So, um, for me to have found a location on an island where the wind and the currents and the tide and all of that, uh, the land meets all of that first is, is quite significant because I like, I like to feel the power of it.
Um, and to be in the changes, but also as. A sailor, being on the windward side, is, um, the position on the boat you want to be on. So that you don’t fall off the boat, because the hull of the boat is normally tilted when you’re sailing. And the windward side is up higher, so you’re safer, um, to be sitting up there, or to be moving along the windward side.
Rather than down on the leeward side, you’d be closer to the water, the surface of the water.
Tina: I don’t know what that has to do about the meaning of life, but it feels like it’s powerful.
Megan: I think so. Yeah.
Tina: Nice. So what were you doing in Norway when you first fell in love with the ocean?
Megan: I was, well, so in Norway, I was farming on an island. And, um, surrounded by water, but it wasn’t until I moved to Scotland, uh, to the Isle of Ague in the Western Hebrides, and that’s where I was still farming on this island and surrounded by water. But, uh, I was, I was asked if I wanted to go on a sailing journey for three weeks down to Ireland.
And, um, I had never been on a sailboat for that amount of time. And… That to me is the, the moment when I realized that I could, I could make being on the ocean a part of my life every day. Um, and I really have not looked back. I, I, I really haven’t. I’ve pretty much gone full, full force ahead into that,
Tina: . I want to get into how following your gut has been part of that forward. Journey that you’re on and just part of your life in general, but before we do that, I wonder if you might Whatever comes to mind first share with us. What an evening on the boat Or recreation time, I guess.
I’m trying to imagine what it looks like to have fun on the boat. Is that a possibility or is it just work, work, work?
Megan: that to have fun on the boat. Um. Well, now I work on all kinds of different boats, so, um, but normally having fun on, on a, and you’re gonna hear the roosters. Did you hear that?
Tina: Yes, yes.
Megan: Bloody roosters. Um,
Tina: have something to
Megan: Polynesian islands are full of these bloody roosters. Uh, I, I, I normally would consider having fun on a boat involving other people, and, Um, the first image that comes to mind is playing music. Um, especially on a sailboat when, if the weather conditions are correct, you can be on deck out in the open as you’re sailing along. And, um, at any time of day is amazing to be playing music on deck on a sailboat. But at sa at sunset, that is… That’s, that’s one of the most, um, beautiful moments that I, I have in my memory bank of playing, playing music and enjoying each other’s company and just feeling that rhythm of, of the sailboat and watching the sun go down. That, uh, yeah, that’s, that’s an incredible moment.
Tina: have to tell you, I imagined that exact moment in my head before you spoke it. I imagined like, I didn’t know that there was actually times where you would have the leisure time to play. And I know that you’re a violin player. Hello.
Megan: Well done. Yeah.
Tina: Yeah, I’m like, nope, that’s not right. You’re a fiddle player. And I know that, um, I know that there’s a lot of work and it’s around the clock when you’re on a sailboat.
I understand that in my head, right? I’ve not experienced one. Although I did in my early 20s have dreams of sailing the world. And then I realized how motion sick I get and I was like, not so sure I like not seeing land. I’m definitely like a woodland fairy, you know what I mean? .
So all of those put together made me realize like maybe sailing the world wasn’t exactly in my future but other adventures would be. So I did picture though, I actually pictured a starry sky. So a starry sky, calm seas, and like maybe a jig and some dancing.
Megan: Yeah, yeah, that happens. Not, not very common. Uh, I, I, it definitely depends on weather. It’s all weather dependent.
There’s a lot of times you wouldn’t be able to stand up to do any of that because of the physical motion of, of the bow. You’d flip it over, uh, or it could be rainy or too windy or something. And you wouldn’t, you know, you just, it wouldn’t make sense to have your instrument out on deck, but, um, but those moments where it all does come together and align, you appreciate them even more because.
You know that it’s not always the, uh, right conditions to be able to play music or dance or even gather together on, on the deck of a moving sailboat.
Tina: That definitely, like, fits into life in general, doesn’t it?
Megan: Mm hmm.
Tina: Good idea. And, uh, the ability to see the difference between the really magical moments and the mundane, because that’s just life. That’s how that goes. And your little rooster there on the Island of Maui is like, I’ve always wanted to be in a podcast.
I’m on one now.
Megan: think there’s at least ten of, uh, My Little Roosters around. No, no exaggeration.
Tina: Where have you sailed that you would really like to go back?
Megan: Hmm. Uh, the first place that comes to mind is an area north. of New Zealand. Um, it’s the, um, the Vanuatu Island. That’s what they’re called. And, um, I was just thinking about that area of the world the other day, because I want to go back there. Um, but also where I’m living. Is not that far away from that island chain.
Uh, it’s the same ocean. Yeah, I would like to go back there from, for many reasons. Primarily the people, actually, it’s the people that I met there that really left a big imprint on my heart. And, um, and I also made them a promise, which I never make promises. I promised that I would return to them one day.
And, uh, I really hope that that is something that I can see happen again in my life. Um, yeah, I, I know I have a lot to learn from those people their hearts are so open, they’re so open. And the memory that comes up is, I, I got to sail there on a small sailboat. Uh, we had been sailing for months from, from Chile to Australia.
Uh, essentially that was the cruise track, but in between, you know, we got to visit a lot of these islands. Um, and. At that time, during the trip, we were anchored off of the northern island of Vanuatu, and, uh, had some visitors coming on board, some officials from the country that needed to stay on board overnight, and so we didn’t have enough bunk spaces available, so the captain asked if anyone would volunteer to go.
Ashore to sleep and immediately I volunteered not because I knew anyone on shore or knew that I had a place to sleep. I don’t think, I don’t even know if I had been ashore yet, maybe once, but this island, there was absolutely no Western influence. In terms of structures,
Tina: I love that.
Megan: perhaps some, you know, a cell phone here or there, but, um, there was not a hotel.
I could just go ashore. There wasn’t even a dock. Uh, so, I volunteered and I took with me my fiddle and, um, took the small boat and got to, to shore and when I pulled the boat onto the rocks, Um, that’s when a group of small kids were, were there by the, the trees in the shade and they were collecting some kind of nut.
And so I sat on these rocks and I just watched them and they, they got a bit closer to me. They were curious about who I was too and, and we just kept smiling at each other and, um, and then they got close enough so they could hand me these nuts. And they were actually putting them into my mouth, they were feeding me. And I felt like I was one of their pets or something. But I just kept chewing on these nuts and um, their smiles got bigger and my smile got bigger. And yeah, that was it. I was invited up. To a little girl’s home. She was nine years old at the time, Betsy Anne, and she just guided me up to her home and it was like, they were expecting me this little home made out of bamboo primarily, and some sort of, um, for like fiber material on the roof and her parents just smiled and showed me where I could sleep, uh, in their bed.
They were going to sleep on the earth. it was, it was amazing. And I got to spend a few days with them. And, um, yeah, so the Vanuatu islands, I, I want to go back to because that kind of magic does exist in the world. You don’t have to sail thousands of miles to find it. Um, it exists everywhere. And they reminded me that it, it does, and it’s possible.
And. Not to lose it. We, we all have it.
Tina: I love that.
Megan, I could talk to you for a very long time. I know that you have many, many stories that we could share, but I do… I do want to bring us into, um, a topic that I like to talk about on the podcast.
Tina: And that is the idea of following your intuition or your heart or your higher guidance or your higher self or God or whatever you want to call that feeling of, this is the right path and I don’t really know why.
I don’t know how I’m going to get from here to wherever I’m going, but it feels like this is the path to that. I don’t even know maybe where I’m going. And I know that you, um, have been inspirational to me in my life for having the ability to do that. And I would love to talk about, there are probably lots of stories you can share that way, but I wonder if you can think of one that you could share, and how you followed your heart in that process.
But start us off maybe with a, with a simpler, or I don’t know, whatever magic comes to mind where you’re just followed your heart and it led you someplace beautiful.
Megan: hmm. I mean, every day. Yeah,
Tina: I want to interject here too, just for a moment, because I would say that you’re also a person who has a lot of trust that you will be, um, held or caught if you will.
Megan: yeah, that is true. I think I think it’s worth mentioning that where I was brought up, and, um, and many of your listeners, yourself included, um, and I also want to, well, we were all brought up in a similar part of the world, North America, and, um, which is noteworthy, secondly, I think it’s important not to put any blame or judgment on, on how we were brought up and things that may have been lacking or, or not, but just it’s significant where we were born and where we were raised in the world, because that absolutely impacts how you learn and, and how you trust, um, and how you see the world.
So I was born in the States. And that absolutely affected how I, I looked at the world. And I also want to say, though, that even as a child, I distinctively remember looking up into the, the trees, the birch, and, and knowing that it’s, And, and knowing there was more and something, yeah, knowing, knowing there was something that was guiding me, but you have to be, you have to be brave and you also have to be scared. Um, but you, you just have to trust. And, and not, not let that fear lead you onto a, a path that’s, um, not, not your path. So, yeah, um, it’s obviously something that’s very, very dear to my heart. And, um, I think, I think that your podcast and, and what, You’re bringing to the surface, um, through my life’s experiences is essential for, for people today, because we all have this guidance inside of us, every single one of us. Um, we just need to know that we can cultivate it. And the more we listen to it and the more we trust, it does become a part of our everyday. becomes less of these outstanding events in our life and it becomes innately a part of how we live our everyday life. Uh, you really do become one with it. But you, you do need to test it. And you will be tested. And it never ends. Ever. Well, in my, that’s my experience anyway. Did that help answer some of your questions?
Tina: It did. ONe, I want to just thank you for being so vulnerable. I know it’s hard to choke up when you’re talking to anyone, let alone strangers who you have no idea who’s listening. But, like, it’s that open heartedness that, of course, we all need more of in the world. And that’s bringing you back to New Zealand someday. And… Definitely what feeds my soul as well is why I want to have conversations about things people are passionate about and things that I myself am passionate about.
And I, it is a process, right? So like I can look back at my life and I can see areas where I just made a choice in the moment that felt right.
And I didn’t know where it was going to lead me and I trusted, and then I definitely also have moments in my life where I did not trust and I thought, I don’t know how this is going to work. And I just pulled my hair out and I. between this or that or this or that. And I chose a path that maybe was the safe path or not quite my path or whatever it might be.
And ultimately I also don’t have a lot of judgment on myself for that because definitely those paths taught me something in their own way. But I would love to have more, you know, in my own life, I love to have more of that ease that comes from just trusting. And you and I, but podcast, we were talking about where I’m at in life, what’s happening in my life.
Just a wee bit. And I was sharing that, um, I have some things happening right now that I just have to completely trust that the universe, God, whatever is more out there, and I happen to think they’re all the same,
Tina: there’s my belief system around it, that whatever is more is going to reveal the path for me and I just have to trust and follow it.
And I get to do it with joy, right? I get to do it with joy and not fear. So
Tina: always followed it to some degree, but it I sometimes follow it with fear and it’s like shifting that. And so I love what you shared with us in that reflection and I’m just really grateful for your vulnerability.
Megan: I never know what I’m going to say when people ask me certain things normally. I just, I really do try to speak from, My heart, not up in my head. And however it unfolds is how it’s going to unfold. And yeah, being vulnerable is most of it. That’s a huge part of this life. Is letting go.
Tina: Right. Right. Not grasping and grabbing and hanging on. So speaking of letting go, you in the last several years, you started a nonprofit, um, ocean stream and my understanding, I’m going to paraphrase my understanding of the nonprofit was to bring. The love of sailing and nature together as a teaching medium to get young adults or was it anyone in general
Tina: out into the ocean and to explore nature and to feel that sense of connection is my interpretation of it.
Tina: You’ve been pouring your heart and soul into that while sailing the world and captaining ships. Is that a correct
Tina: And then recently you made a change, made a shift. And I wonder if you can share that shift, because I think that some of my, my listeners might all of us, right?
We can get into a path and it’s hard to shift out of that path without feeling like when you have people that you were seeking money from, you have people that you were sort of beholden to in a way, right? That you’re putting out the stream, you’re asking for help is you had a. A group of people that was working on this together.
So I wonder if you might share that experience.
Megan: yeah, uh, Yeah, that’s a, that’s a big question to answer, but it’s quite simple to, um, yeah, you wake up in the morning and You’ve always had a cup of black coffee to get your day going, but then that one morning you wake up and that’s not what you want anymore. And, uh, maybe you want a London fog.
Tina: Oh yeah, I definitely went on to do
Megan: so good.
Tina: You know, we have one here in town called Petoskey Fog.
Megan: I love that. Oh, that’s so good. Um, delicious. Right. So you’re changing gears and, um, yeah, for, for, for quite some time, I, I was, I was envisioning exactly what you said, having a vessel, a sailboat where I could bring people on it to simplify things essentially, um, in order to create a platform where people. connect with nature and the community around them and themselves. And I wanted to do that, uh, while sailing in different parts of the world. And as things progressed. I was quickly realizing that this vision was going to take all of my being to become a reality and the commitment level it was also going to take was not something that felt in alignment with me and really being honest with myself about that truth was a process and took some time and I’m very fortunate that I do have a lot of people around me that care and love me and were able to provide support and their energy and time to just let me Talk about it and let myself be vulnerable.
And really realizing that what, what is it I want for my life? And then also realizing I didn’t have to know, I didn’t have to have all of those answers either, but to be calm enough and still enough inside myself to realize that ocean’s dream and. And the, the vision of a boat, um, wasn’t what I wanted was, was a big deal for me because it was also, it felt like a let down to myself and also to all of the people that had provided that support. Um, so, uh, it’s taken a few years, but. It also feels extremely freeing when you are that honest with yourself and, um, you speak your truth for you. Because now, I feel lighter. I feel much lighter and, um, we’ll see where, where my life takes me.
Tina: I love it. I love it because it relates to so many things that we stress about in life, right? This fact that we can’t embrace whatever path we want to be on because we might let somebody down, whether that’s our parents or our Spouse or children, whomever that might be, or a board on the nonprofit, like whomever that is, it’s that same process of working through living in your own integrity and how by doing that, you inherently give permission to others to do that.
So when I read your email that you were, um, moving on to something different and it was really eloquently spoken and it was beautiful and heartfelt and all of those things. I felt the same sense of lightness that you feel because I felt like it’s beautiful when you can see somebody choose themselves and choose their path and not in this way of thinking of selfishness or things like that.
But in this way of like when we are all lit up and we all are full of light and we all are following what we’re supposed to be and we’re speaking our truth. Whether that’s calling a friend and saying, I actually can’t meet you today. I was planning to meet you and I can’t.
Tina: Or whether that’s, you know, the highest level of that.
Like, those things are so important. And I think that really ties into the idea of, um, trusting and following your intuition. And that we can both say no to something and have grace and be loving, beautiful humans. It’s just sometimes that we can’t do all that at once.
Megan: Yeah. Yeah. I also saw that all the things that I, I wanted to create for other people to experience in reality, I needed to create those things for myself.
Megan: And I, I, I didn’t want to just talk the talk. I want to live it.
Megan: And so, uh, I’m taking, I’m taking conscious, making conscious decisions to do that every day.
And a lot of that really, for me, right now in my life means creating more space for myself. However that looks, whatever feels good for Megan to do, or not to do, even more so, even more importantly, actually, is to do less. Um, yeah, so it does, it’s interesting, and it is, it’s really being honest and checking in with yourself every day. Not just because one day you make this decision and then you, yep, this is the one, and then you… Every, you just write it out. That, to me, doesn’t feel authentic either to who I am. You, you have to put effort into yourself every day. You can’t just check the box, sign the subscription, or membership, pay for it, and it’s over. Which, unfortunately, corporations is so much of what they’re doing. But, this one isn’t signing up for that subscription.
Tina: Excellent. So I just had this experience myself, I applied for this job and I wasn’t entirely certain that this is how I wanted to spend my time, but I applied for it. I was compelled enough to apply for it. And I’m sort of like, why am I applying for this? But I don’t know.
I am. I feel compelled to do this. I’m just going to follow it through. And then I got a job interview and I had a job interview. And even in that moment, I’m like, I’m still not certain that this is the right path for me, but it still felt like the right thing to do as far as a job interview goes.
Tina: And I finally just let go of all of this, like, what is happening here?
Why am I doing this to say, like, I have no idea what’s going to come out of this. thing that I’m doing as far as the interview and the application. Like, I feel like there’s, that is actually the path and I don’t know what the end result of it’s going to be, and it’s fine either way, but it’s like, it’s intriguing to step back from it and not have to have a plan for what’s next
So where I live, uh, it is, it, to me, it is paradise. I’m able to walk out my door and into the jungle and I follow this river that comes to a waterfall that drops about 300 feet down to a smaller little waterfall pool and then the river carries on and goes out to the ocean. And, um, this.
This place wasn’t, it doesn’t have signs all over it that says here I am and this is amazing come, come this way. I’ve, I found it. I found this path, uh, through the jungle. Just, you know, I was curious. But when I go there, I’m always taught something and I try before I even go there to, to ground myself and to feel calm because to me it’s a very sacred place and I want to be as present as I can be when I go there and um, that’s not always easy. So there are all these roots and lots of ways you could fall or slip or hurt yourself. And if I’m not paying attention to… Every single step, literally every single step that I am taking, one foot in front of the other, I, every time, every time, I stumble, I stub my toe, I almost slip, or do. And so, what this is teaching me is, it is, it really is, journey. Every day. Every step.
Tina: I just had a retreat last week and we were making pants on Mackinac Island and, um, we always have a theme for the retreat and we do like a meditation in the beginning and we do a mindfulness movement thing at the end.
Um, often people know what they’re getting into when they come, cause I have like 50 percent of the people come back the next time, which is super fun. And then they have some new people that are like, what is this exactly? But. The theme for last week’s retreat, this was in October of 2023, was the journey and it was the path and it was trust, right?
So I wanted, because we also take the pattern and we create something else with it. And I wanted folks to remember that all you have to do is take the next step and trust that it’s going to happen. And we’re talking about sewing clothing, right? But like, it’s obviously to walking a path in the woods as well, or the jungle, if you will.
Tina: I love it. I love it. And there’s somebody who can sometimes race over the steps. I love this imagery of like taking your time with each step and carefully seeing it because then how then you’re in a grounded spot to take your next step.
Tina: I love that. Megan, I love having you on my podcast. I want to have you on 75 more times, but
That’s a deal. I’ll just keep living my life so I have 75 more things to talk about.
Tina: Um, you have more than that in you. I am positive. Um,
Tina: so I know you need to get off and start sailing the world again. So I wonder if you might end our podcast today with, I always ask every podcast guest what you wish everybody knew deep in their hearts that you think that maybe they don’t,
Megan: You are good enough.
Tina: and you can’t see this, but there’s a sweet head nodding going on in this beautiful smile and this knowing. Megan, I just adore you. Where can guests on the podcast, if they want to follow you, is there any way that they can see what you’re doing? What you’re up to?
Megan: You gotta come visit me.
Tina: in Maui on the top of a cliff,
Megan: On Maui, or wherever else I am in the world, but yeah, my door’s always open. That’s the best way, just come visit. Physically. Show up.
Tina: Okay. You got it.
And there you have it. And that’s our show for this week. I hope you loved meeting Megan, as much as I did.
Hm. It’s really fun. When in our lives we find people. That are fully lit up following their passion. Because them being fully lit up. Show is us it’s possible for us to be fully lit up. And that’s what I want this podcast to achieve. I want all of us. To take responsibility for the joy in our lives. And for the vibrancy in our lives. If you liked this podcast, will you subscribe? And leave me a review. You can do that on any podcast. Platform, you will love. You can also find all the episodes and the show notes at kinship, handwork.com. Simply click on podcasts and you can get all the information for any of the episodes I have.
Plus there’s a few freebies there, which are kind of fun. All about living a vibrant life. All right friends. I hope you have the most wonderful day. And thank you. For choosing to spend a little bit of your time with me.