Holding two opposite truths at the same time

Control. Do we have it or do we not…?

On my mind…
Control.  If you’ve been listening to the podcast (In Kinship) you know I talk about how we have more control than we may think in the vibrancy and joy of our lives.  What I mean by that is that we get to decide how we respond to things.  We get to decide what we bring into our lives as a way to bring in more joy and love.  As a way to live lives we love. 

We are not rudderless ships in a sea of rollicking waves and thundering storms. 
Well.  We are actually. 

BUT we get to decide what we’re bringing with us on that voyage…a daily walk, a good book, some handwork, a dear friend, or a meditation cushion.  You get the idea.

Things that make our voyage, any voyage at all, better. 

And we get to decide what we think about that voyage. 
You know, like as the giant octopus’s tentacle wraps around the boat… “oh wow, it’s amazing and gorgeous to see the tentacles of that giant octopus up close, what beauty!”.  As opposed to, “I can’t believe this stinkin’ octopus is splashing water all over my book…again!”

And yet.  Control is a complicated word. 

My Dad is ailing, again, and in my business, I have the desire for something to happen…just like I picture…and it’s not.  And I’m looking for land to plant my tiny house and root my tiny family and I keep getting outbid, by investors. 

And my neck is all locked up.  It’s painful to turn it.  Finally, I slowed down and asked my inner wisdom what was going on.  (For crying out loud). It takes a while for me to get to that point.  I’m rather stubborn.

In the shower (water is so powerful at bringing inspiration), it came to me.  I’m trying to control what’s happening in my life.  As soon as I realized that, my neck unlocked and the pain receded.  Now to be sure, it comes back, and I get the opportunity to once again breathe into it and practice letting go of that control.  Because it is that.  A practice.  And control is a complicated word.

I can both have more control over my experience than I sometimes allow AND I can need to release control of the events in my life…at the same time.  (The illusion really.  Because that kind of control isn’t really in my power to control.  Not at all.)

Oh, and that shower.  While it’s delightful and I am eternally grateful for the hot steamy water that most often gushes right out of the shower head at the turn of a knob…do I EVER miss my bathtub.  I might need an addition to my tiny house just for a deep soaker!  Stay tuned on that…but don’t hold your breath, it could be a while.

What I’m loving right now…

  • Life can be so fabulous.  Several years ago, I had the pleasure to stumble upon the blog of this (Episode 9) podcast guest.   I was instantly smitten and when I decided to pursue a podcast of my own, she was one of the first people I asked to be on it.  I breathlessly waited and she said yes! 
  • I’ve been thinking about recovering some furniture.  I have a “thing” for chairs.  And couches.  And dressers…oh, and tables.  Especially if they are somewhat unloved and brimming with “good bones”.  Now, I’ve recovered a few things in my life.  But, and I’m looking at you ottoman with the worn-out fabric and wonky folds, I wanted to gain some better practices so that my reupholster job looked…better.  This course has been a delight, both in the tips I’m learning and in the ambiance.  And I’m pretty sure she made her own clothes…the fit is impeccable.
  • Since we’re talking about bringing a loved item back to life, did you ever watch the BBC production The Repair Shop?  It’s magical.  Makes you wish you had an old grandfather clock and you were the one walking down the lane.  (actually, I want to be the one doing the…you guessed it, reupholstering!)