When fear becomes ease

Lately, I’ve been filming my digital course, Sew Clothes You LOVE and just in case that sounds glamorous, here’s the truth from my one-woman filming studios.

Where cameras teeter on precarious stacks of books, atop an ironing board, also balanced on stacks of magazines and computers are propped on the cardboard, handmade garage my son made for his front end loader atop his unmade bed. 

Downstairs filming studio!
Upstairs filming studio

(He’s also a tape artist.  Seriously, I’m asking Santa to fill his stocking with rolls of tape.  We’ll both be thrilled!)

It’s been fun. Really fun, actually.

And hard.

Hard to get over myself and the multitude of triggers being on camera brings up and frustrating when I nail it, only to realize that the camera did not record…for some magical, mystical reason.  Unlikely to be user error.

It’s a rollercoaster of feelings…from elation at a clip that I love to despair that it’s not enough.   
Not enough.  Always rearing it’s monstrous head.   

I’m better at riding it out and knowing that my best is enough than I used to be, but still, in the early morning hours, it sometimes wakes me with its fear.

I was really, really nervous to film myself.  Uncharacteristically so.

I generally navigate life with the thought that I am capable of just about anything I put my mind to.  (and everyone else for that matter…I believe wholeheartedly in the Henry Ford quote “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”) 

So to get ready to film, I did several, really uncomfortable FB Live filming with my friends and right before I film my course, I meditate, listen to some affirmations while standing like superwoman in the mirror and then race around the house hooting and hollering…truly.  🙂    

(I actually do ululations…something I picked up from Dr. Tererai Trent’s book “The Awakened Woman”.  You’re gonna have to google it!)

And wouldn’t you know it, I feel pretty darn comfortable with it now!

Cause life is like that, you know.   

It’s so hard until it’s simply not anymore.  You’ve done the baby steps, you’ve worked through the fear and bam…you’re doing the thing that was so hard with ease and comfort.    Mostly.

So cool.

How about you?  What are you doing that’s hard? 

In case you don’t hear it, well done!  

Working through fear is hard…whether that’s learning to live with spiders or showing up in front of thousands of people.  Well done.